As you all know, we love Toronto. You've probably read it over and over again and by now your probably sick of it. Well, today I'm about to tell you about something we DONT like about Toronto. Well I wouldn't describe it at as dislike, because it has provided us endless entertainment, I would describe it as more of a quirk, adding more to the character of the city.
Toronto has bad flatulence.
Or as Google describes it: a state of excessive gas in the alimentary canal.
Now I know I didn't want this blog to turn into stories about flatulence, as I've already discussed a rather humourous case in Calgary, but we felt this was important, very important.
Let me explain.
When you walk down the street you expect that lovely breath of fresh air as the wind blows in your face and through your hair. Its lovely. Its refreshing. It makes you feel good.
Well Toronto has the same lovely, refreshing and feel good gust of wind, like every city; but occasionally, or roughly 3-4 times a day, you will get straight up sewerage bursts that fill every hole and crevace on your face. Up your nose, in your mouth, under your eye lids then through one ear and out the other. Every sense is bombarded with faecal stench, its a sensory overload. And its not so lovely, nor refreshing and it certainly doesn't make you feel good.
But at times it was quite funny, we grew to expect the rush of faecal mist filling our face holes, and we termed it as simply, "damn, Toronto just farted". Im starting to think its Toronto's way of saying welcome, but I just wish they could have picked a nicer fragrance. Lavender maybe?
Speaking of mist, on our last day in Toronto we headed down to the world famous Niagara falls. Just a short 1 and a half hour drive, it was nice to rest our feet after 6 days of walking 6km+ everyday around the city. Once we arrived, we found out the lifts down to the maid of the mist were currently out of order, and it didn't look like we'd be able to experience the incredible boat journey to the falls. So instead we decided to do the second half of the tour, a wine tasting, tower visit, and walking around Niagara-on-the-lake, a pretty little tourist town that was famous for something which I can't remember. If you would like to know, I suggest googling it. After some more general sightseeing, we ventured back to the falls with everyone on the bus unanimously agreeing to walk down to the boat, but as it turns out they had fixed the lifts on our arrival which saved us the unnecessary exercise.
The maid of the mist journey to the falls was spectacular, and damn do you get wet. More like soaked if you ask me! The spray off the giant monumental waterfall was like getting shot in the face with the pressure cleaner on medium setting, so if you would like to experience what we experienced on the boat, I would suggest trying that as it's quite a rush, just don't forget to close your eyes. In all seriousness, the falls were spectacular, the roar could be heard even before it was in sight and the mist was the same. It was a much more pleasant sensory overload. Its another one of those things that is better described through photos, so more will come tomorrow when we find a computer to use.
The same can be said for Ottawa, the capital of Canada (to many peoples suprise). Its a small city with not much to do but admire its old heritage parliament buildings, which were actually quite spectacular. We arrived just the day after our trip to the falls, and it was a nice break to just walk aroiund and admire, taking it easy, and boy did we need it. But like I said, photos provide a better snapshot of their beauty. Apart from admiring old buildings and taking lots of photos of them, we spent majority of our time watching hockey. The season officially kicked off October first so most nights were spent in the bars watching the games and drinking beer, can it get any better than that, honestly?
While our brief time in Ottawa was occupied by walking around old buildings and watching the hockey, an interesting and surprising development has come forth. Canadians tend to struggle understanding Lauren! Can you believe it? I thought I was going to be the one having the problem! So she's taken a stand, and now refuses to order anything at any type of establishment (food courts, shops, restaurants, Starbucks, everything), fearing that she will get that blank stare when you think someone is talking gibberish to you. So now I'm tasked with all those responsibilities, and therefore have to improve the clarity of my English to avoid such situation myself.
So that brings us to now, currently we are sitting on a bus on our way to Montreal, and thank god its only 2 and a half hours. Thats because as it turns out we decided to get on the bus that was transporting a crazy European freak show. A big group of very strange, loud and just plain weird Europeans. But I guess it's providing entertainment.
Again I apologize for such a long post, posts from here on in will be smaller more manageable chunks of our activities.
So until then, we hope everyone's well!
Kristian & Lauren.
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